Why I write about Sex

This post was inspired by Figleaf's Real Adult Sex post on the same topic….
http://www.realadultsex.com/archives/2007/03/why-i-blog-about-sex-instead-of-politics-health-or

Why I write about sex…

Because I think about it all the time
Because its thrown in my face all the time
Because I’m asked for it all the time
Because I never get enough of it
Because I have too much of it
Because it’s the most enjoyable thing I do by myself, besides dancing, reading a good book.
Because it’s the most enjoyable thing I can do by with another person besides dancing, making and eating a good meal.
Because it brought me into this world and Because its probably going to damn well take me out again (broken heart, jealous lover or severe bed sheet burns)
Because it makes me know myself better
Because is got me knowing you better
Because it’s where our secrets are
Because I can’t figure out what I’m doing half the time.
Because I’m fucking good at it.

Why I Won’t Have Sex With You. And how you SHOULD NOT react.

As a woman, moving occasionally through the heterosexual world of dating and screwing, I find myself frequently irritated by the level of cluelessness displayed by some het men when refused a sexual encounter. My first response is usually a polite no, but if the question persists I find myself moving closer and closer to a violent response.
What irks me the most is when I choose not to have sex with an individual and they refuse to let it go.

I suddenly transform into mommy, denying candy to her 8 year old son. “But why?” I hear him moan. Followed by puppy dog eyes, which I’m assuming is a desperate, pathetic attempt to change my mind. If you think staring into the eyes of a 8 year old boy in the body of a 26 old man is a turn on, you are dead wrong.

Sometimes it continues beyond this. After a firm and steady no, “I’m not interested” you take the quiet passive aggressive route. Suddenly you don’t know what to talk about, your eyes wander, you are taking my preference not to rip off my clothes and blow you as a deep personal insult. I’m sorry, incredibly insecure man, but I don’t feel like getting down and dirty.

Or you continue to ask me throughout our conversation. Do you think my ‘no’ is a fucking straw house, the more you blow the closer you are to me doing the same to you?

This article below gives a handy guide to a few issues that may be behind a woman’s disinterest in your package deal. While I find it somewhat problematic, I like how it reminds our tragic hero that it’s not always about him. It also brings up some interesting issues like insecurity and personal safety as barriers to getting right into it. For example, she is not body confident at the moment (wants to trim her bush), she knows that sex will be painful for her (in the case of yeast infection), her undies are not porntastic, etc.

People want to come to a sexual encounter knowing they are going to enjoy it. I wish more people came to a sexual encounter understanding that their partner will enjoy it too. And while you may be confident in your sexing ability and your hot ass, you don’t know what’s going on with the other person, personally and physically. So BACK THE FUCK OFF, if they decline your amorous advance.

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Whole article after the link
15 Reasons She Won't Have Sex With You | The Frisky

"Dudes of the world: You are very sexy. You are very tempting. You are very hard ... to say no to. Believe me! But sometimes, my V isn’t willing to accept the gift that is your P. So before you go getting down on yourself, here are the real reasons I won’t have sex with you after a date, even if it went well…

1. Too Drunk To Screw: I might puke and I’d rather not do it while either aerobically sexercising or encouraging my gag reflex over a beej. Besides, do you really want to test if we’re at that “I’ll hold your hair!” stage?
2. First Is The Worst: I may want to do you after a first date, but conventional wisdom has told me not to. I might have dry-humped your jeans bald, but, I’m not taking them off. I’m just worried that if we do too much too fast it’ll just turn into a fling. So, please, at least give us until date three.
3. Rag Time: I’m sorry, I can’t. Believe me, if I could ditch Aunt Flo, I would. But day one is no fun for anyone. I’ll get back to you in a few. And no, my butt doesn’t automatically become an option when my va-jay is out of commission.

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comic the second

So, this was completed last week and it has taken me forever to get around to posting it.
I've decided to call it GOBBLE.


Work has been fairly busy after a few week hiatus. I find the timing of the collective sexual energy in the city super frustrating. I get calls from 9-11am and then again from 3-5pm and then after 12 at night. The morning calls are the hardest, these calls are also just inquiries, which means you should pick them up, its business hours. I try but I can't get them, I can hardly put a sentence together before noon.

Lost in the Bush

Almost all my lovers under 30 have some sort of issue with my body hair. This issue can range from not licking my pussy…ever. Or doing it so grudgingly and being so noncommittal about it, I have to get them to stop because I’m embarrassed for them.

I have had people tell me that it’s a turn off, that they prefer pussy ‘clean’, one even stopped what he was doing and turned to look at me and said, “I have to ask you, but why don’t you shave?”

I focused my gaze on his rather untrimmed bush and asked him the same question. The Idiot responded, “because I’m a boy, I don’t have to.”

Good grief!

Now just to give an idea… for work I have to trim and wax a fair amount of my hair from my nether regions. But I’m not going bald, it takes time, energy, money and well, quite a lot of pain.

Most of my clients don’t have a problem with the amount of hair I have, some even search me out because of it, as bald is fairly sex industry standard and I’m unique. But I think this is all because my clients are above 30 and haven’t been sexually developed through bald pussy porn. I’ve had some clients ask me about it, and some may not have gone down on me due to a fuzzy crotch, but hey that’s just one more orgasm I don’t have to fake.

If my lovers are anti-pussy hair I don’t generally take offense but only if they have have something else going for them. One lover showed me I could squirt. Another lived really close by and had sex furniture. One was the most enthusiastic and creative sadist I’ve ever had the pleasure/pain of experiencing. All of these people had skills that allowed me to side step their preference for ‘youthful’ looking cootch.

Is this what sexual preference is, a little give and take? Part of me expects oral regardless of hair because you know, it’s totally not a huge deal, a little hair in your mouth poor baby! I was spoiled with decent, feminist lovers in university.
I’m trying to be sex positive and that understand sexual difference is ok and that its a little silly of me to expect someone to do a sexual action they dislike, for whatever sexist, annoying reason heterosexual boys have for getting out of licking pussy.
But really I do expect them to lick it, and do it well and fucking enjoy it when I come all over their faces.
Thank god for orally skilled older clients!

And Thank god for Sarah Haskins who probably has the cutest bush ever!

Happy endings are for fairy tales and rub n' tugs.

This comic has been a long time coming.


pg 1

pg 2

I started writing about goblins last year, as I started to get to know the city better. When I lived in a small community I felt like a fairy, now I feel the city wrap itself around me, choke me with grit, glitter, slime and plastic. Slowely twisting me up into a different shape. And I love it.

Happy endings are for fairy tales and rub and tugs.
The rest of us just want a good meal and somewhere warm to sleep.

Its not worker related, or really all that sexy... but its fun to make, so I'm hoping to do one a week... maybe one a month, the second one is in the works, almost finished.

It needs a name, suggestions are welcome.

pink in black and white

my hands stink like my cock, chemicals and blood
passing the time, one stroke after another

my lovers won't take me
too dirty
my lovers won't fuck me
too bloody
my lovers won't call me
my name changes daily

So I love myself
dirty and bloody, calling my own name

I come undone from my bedding
and walk to the bathroom
to wash the blood from my
dirty stinking hands

cheap sex store fucking,
I'm the best lay I've had all month

Craigs List to fuck (over) workers

The anti-sex, whore hating sentiment is spilling out and up over the border and coming to Canada.
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http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/craigslist-discussing-changes-to-its-online-sex-ads-in-canada/article1140966/ **
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This is fairly bad news for any worker using Criags List for erotic advertising. Currently Craigs List is the most accessible advertising services to workers, its cheap, its super easy and it gives the most control to the individual posting.

Also the prohibitionists have no idea what they are talking about. They want to 'govern' sex workers through CL, as if we can't take care of ourselves, or have been for the last thousands of years.

The interesting (er... patronizing) aspects of law enforcement in relation to sex work is that it appears on the outside that they are doing it for the workers on good. Preventing sex slavery, trafficking or violence. When in reality they are taking away the ways in which workers are able to use resources available to them to protect themselves. The Internet is an extremely good supplementary resource in screening clients, and they want to limit and govern that. The police have a terrible record when it comes to protecting workers.

**as this is fairly old news an update is due when I get my ass in gear.

Two girls dildoing (sp?)

Sure, it’s a verb…
I’m slowly learning to wean myself off of grammatically challenged, free, straight pornography. But, it’s going to be a long up hill journey on a slippery slope. The catalyst for this life altering decision was walking in on my housemate and his not-boyfriend watching kinky bear porn the other day and realized that my world of porn is so limited. I had never watched queer men suck each other off, especially big fuzzy bear men. I was living under a shaved, bleached, silicone rock.

While living in a world of xvid and rtube helps ones alleviate frustrations in a quick point and click, I can’t help but feel that it’s the fast food of the porn industry. Cheap, tasty, but you want to fuck yourself again in about 5 minutes… I mean eat again …

Another turn off about free straight porn is how much of it I see reenacted in the young men around me. Less so in their sexual techniques but in their visual preferences… shaved over natural or trimed, skinny over curvy or fat, ridiculous make-up and hair. Groan…

But all these reservations don’t stop it from being free, and plentiful.
Not to mention, I like feeling dirty while I wack off…

bursting

I'm full of takeout Thai food... essssplode!

Today I was little miss fisher woman, fielding calls all day long, no bites. Well there was one, but I threw him back.

On principle I don't take calls if they won't give me a call back number. No appointment with blocked numbers period. I usually take the calls then ask the client to call me back on another line, where I can see the number. A gentleman today was unwilling to do that, and I didn't have time to filter through the references he dug up for me of past ladies he has worked with. My fault, I forget to tell him the previous day when he had inquired that this was necessary. Also my fault, I should have taken some time to check the references if he went through the trouble of getting them. But I was rushed, he wanted me to buy an entire outfit for a quick 30 minute call, it was -20*C outside, I decided to toss him back and try my luck at hooking another shinier fishy...

None shinier bit and now I'm a little broker.

sleeplessness... again

A mix of anxiety, lust and uncertainty is keeping me up.

There is not one room in my house that's not filled with the noise of my housemate and his guest making awesome sounding sex noises.

Living in a sex positive house is truly a change of pace, my last house was as equally unsound-proof, but all the noises I ever made there were met with looks of disgust from my last housemate the morning after. In this house we commend each other on orgasms well had. Even getting woken up in the early morning to sex noises doesn't bother me, but that's probably because I don't have a day job.

I'm avoiding going to sleep, a friend passed out in my bed and I think I want to sleep alone tonight, so to the couch I go.

other silly things keeping me awake...

I desperately want to be a go go dancer and have spent the last few hours You Tubing (now a verb) videos of dancers in order to prepare for an audition coming up next month. I feel a little scared that I will be judged on my dancing ability. I love to dance, but the club scene is a little intense for me to be a club kid. It also gets expensive, paying cover and taxi cabs. So, why not try my hand at getting paid to dance around like a wild woman...?

Go go dancing to me looks like a cross between stripping and hip hop with a little bit of the robot thrown in, but traditionally it was women who did the twist... The gogo dancer coordinator (haha) told me I will be judged on my appearance, so i should to wear booty shorts a bikini top and to be creative. I wonder if I have to wear heels or if I can cut it with a spiffy pair of shoes....

The dilemmas of my life...

unpaid labour of love

I recently became an independent escort after working 2 years with several agencies. This now allows me to feel more in control of my working environment with better return. I have recently run into a problem of the Lover/Client, a gentleman who would much rather be my lover than my source of income.

Usually the situation is mutally understood as: my arrival, conversation, sex, conversation, my departure. Sometimes we mix it up with: my arrival, food and drink, sex, more sex, my departure. Or the extremely rare: my arrival, conversation, I receive a massage, conversation, my departure.

Each and every one of these scenarios involve a monetary transaction regardless of what takes place. The payment is for my time, of course sex is expected, but it allows for the idea that it is me who is calling the shots.

Being independent has allowed me to advertise and screen clients better suited to my personality, likes and dislikes. Unfortunately several of my clients have started mistaking the excellent chemistry we have as evidence we were meant to be together, or at least should get to know each other better for a reduced or non existent cost.

I am unsure of how to negotiate this. I'm slightly angry that they call up escorts and then imply that we are somehow less human for requesting a donation.

We are the fillers of girlfriendless space, do not piss us off!

Welcome Wagon

I'm hitching it up and rolling it out. Going to become a blogger, why? Because I've been reading too many lately, and sometimes I think I also have something interesting to say about the assortment of thoughts buzzing around my brain.

I also recently quit Facebook and I'm looking for a replacement something...

let the replacement addiction begin!